I was born in York Co., South Carolina, on March 17, 1979, into a middle-class family of cotton mill workers who went to church three times a week (Wednesday night and twice on Sundays) and grew tomatoes in their backyard gardens. I was, and still am, what my mother prayed not to have-- a redhead. I have never asked her why she didn't want a kid with red hair, but I suppose it's because so many of them appear sickly white and are spotted with freckles. They just look funny. Maybe I look funny, too, but the fact that I have red hair has not made my mom love me any less that my three siblings.

So I grew up to be a shy, smart, average-looking kid, a product of protective grandparents and divorce. I have always gotten along well with everyone in my family, and that has not changed despite the whole sexual orientation issue. There are several events in my life that I feel have had a major impact on who I am: my birth on St Patrick's Day (1979), the divorce of my parents (1985), the death of my paternal grandfather (1989), moving in with my dad and his boyfriend (1991), coming out (1997), meeting my first boyfriend (1997) and meeting my most recent boyfriend (2000).

Some of use are more greatly effected by their birthdates that others. For instance, I was born on St Patrick's Day. My parents briefly considered naming me Patrick, and I am glad they did not. For
one thing, it would be confusing since I know several other Patricks. Also, they decided to name me Karsten Tobias, and I have recieved countless compliments on my unique name. That name, however, has proven both a blessing and a curse. Until I was twenty-two years old, I went by Toby, a derivation of my middle name. My family still calls me Toby, and they began doing so partly because my grandparents could not properly pronounce Karsten. And so it was, as a child, on the first day of school every year, I heard my name mangled and misprounced, often into a feminine name such as Kristen or Kirsten. Even teachers cannot read. In an attempt to abandon the more childish Toby, I began using my first name while in college, and do not regret that decision. As I have explained on countless occasions, Karsten is a name of German origin, still used in both Germany and Scandinavia. I have familial roots in Germany, and Ireland (County Sligo). Though coincidental, my parents were unaware of our German ancestry at the time, my name and appearance suggest each aspect of my European history. I say European because it is a well-known fact that my family also has an African-American ancestor. I remember my grandmother's cousins being a rather yellowish color, and I often wondered why. I later learned that it was because of Black Granny (as she was affectionately called), and that those cousins were even too dark to attend white schools in the segregated South of the early 1900's.

An anectdote about my name: When I was in third grade, we had to do a report on a topic which was assigned to us by plucking a small shred of paper from the teacher's assistant's cupped hands. When it came my turn, I pulled out a piece of paper which simply said, TB. I was slightly confused, and asked the lady, "Why does mine have my initials on it?" After a bout of giggles, she told me it was an abbreviation for tuberculosis.

In addition to my redhair, Irish heritage and birth on the day of the patron saint of that country, I also have a shamrock tattoo on my waist. Unlike some who make the decision to permanantly mark their bodies while intoxicated or as a dare from their friends, I put quite a bit of thought into what kind of tattoo I would get. I chose the shamrock for all of the reasons mentioned above, and I chose to make it three-leaved instead of four-leaved because I have three siblings, and also because three is considered somewhat of a mystical lucky number. There are two additional reasons which contributed to my choice of the shamrock: I spent most of my childhood in a sleepy little mill town in SC called Clover; and one of my favorite things to do as a child was lay down in the thick clover patches in my grandparent's backyard.

Let me again remind you that my birthday is on March 17th. Send presents. You can find out what I want by looking at my wish list on Amazon!

I would go on and on about those other events in my life which have helped to shape me into the quirky person I am today, but it would take more time than I care, at the moment, to give to this biographical sketch.

I have lived in Las Vegas, NV since 2000.

You can contact me on AIM or Yahoo!, screenname KarstenTB.



-Karsten