I don't watch much television, but my dad and brother watch that American Idol show quite often. Apparently new episodes air twice daily every single day of the week. Seems that way, anyhow. Even when I don't see the show, except in passing as I walk through the living room, I hear it all the time. It's like a fungus that you just can't get rid of. While visiting my mom this past weekend, I even dreamed about it. Stupid show.

The dream begins as Ryan, the host, is introducing the next contestant. As Ryan walks off camera, the contestant comes out from backstage. The world's air supply gets a little thin as everyone watching the show does a sudden intake of breath..... and holds it.

Wearing a tight sheer shirt that comes to just above his navel, Speedos that might be mistaken for his skin were they not black, and leering lips pulsing with hot-blooded passion, a tight and toned young Latino hottie makes his way to center stage.

The spotlight shines off his slicked back blue-black hair and the see-through shirt shimmers over his smooth golden skin. His muscles moved like a prowling leopard's.

He sings something in Spanish. Spanish words make everyone wet in the pants. The camera cuts to Ryan and his dark spot is visible. His smile seems stuck.

Cut back to Golden Boy.

His song is ending, and everyone is still holding their breath. As the last note fades, he sticks out his tongue, raises one hand to flash the peace sign, and with the other pulls down his Speedos allowing his penis to tumble out. It's flaccid and reaches his knees.

The audience gasp, finally exhaling. Ryan walks towards the penis.

It's live television and it's beautiful.

Golden Boy breaks his stare into the camera and glances down at his penis, as if commanding it to obey his every wish. It suddenly gets hard, but the weight of such a huge dick engorged with blood keeps it hanging down. Way down. The bulbous head drags the floor of the stage.
Finally the censors blur it.

Ryan stands an arm length away, staring at it.

I wake up.