And now for two of the most intrusive sex surveys I have every taken.

READ THIS WARNING:There are very personal questions below, so don't read if you don't want to know. By the way some of the questions were originally worded, I think it was probably written by somebody who has very little experience themselves. You have been warned. (Especially if I am related to you, you don't need to know these things!)

Are you a Freak? I would say I'm somewhere in the middle: Not vanilla but not a Freak.
Are you a good kisser? I think I am, but to make sure, I just asked.
What is your favorite positions? Cowboy and Oyster (click the links for photo examples I made using my stuffed animals)
Are you packin'? Whats your size? Ah. The question I never answer. I am above average, but not huge.
Do you want it to be bigger? Not really. It's big enough to be considered big, but not so big as to be unusable.
Do you go down? I love to, though I don't think I'm the greatest at it, even after lots of practice. My mouth is just too small.
Do you like to lick ass? Yes, but I don't like it the other way around.
Using the figures below, how many full-penetrative sex partners have you had?
[ ]0-5
[ ]6-10
[X]11-20
[ ]21-40
[ ]41-100
[ ]100+
Have you ever had a three some before? Yes, five times that I can recall, but the most recent was 8 years ago, at least.
Have you ever done anyone in the butt; have you ever had it done to you? Yes and Yes.
Do you like watching porn while having sex? I can only remember doing that once, 8 or 9 years ago.
Do you have any sexual piercings? No.
When was the last time you had sex? Last week.
How many times a week do you have sex? The average per week seems to decline as a relationship goes on, and that's OK I suppose. I'd say 2 - 3 times a week, average. However, that has dropped to like... once a week if I'm lucky in the last few weeks. LOL.
Can you go all night? I seriously doubt it.
Do you breath hard make sounds, moan, scream? It depends. I don't ever scream. I make some noise, but usually nothing extravagant or out of the ordinary.
Have you ever been Gay or Bisexual? Always.
Do you have any sex toys you use doing sex? No.
Do you like using food during sex? I remember using chocolate a couple of times, ice cream a couple of times. Complicated food fetishes don't really interest me.
Do you like to play with yourself? Very rarely do I masturbate to climax alone. Very rarely.
Do you like it rough? Are you rough? Sometimes and Sometimes.
Do you like using condoms? No.
Have you ever not use condoms? Yes.
Have you ever done it in crazy places be adventures? Yes.
When you have sex what do you call it? Naked fun, having sex, fucking, making love
When you have sex do you like it slow or fast? hard or soft? I try to mix it up a bit, as I like both.
What was the nastiest freakiest thing you have ever done having sex? Eh....I don't do things if I think they are nasty. But my most not-so-vanilla thing is that I like to spank, and sometimes tie them up.
Do you like music playing while you having sex? Sometimes, but it rarely happens.
Do you think you are a pro at what you do in the bed? Pro makes it sound like it's a sports competition or you're a whore..... So no. I'm not a pro, I just have enough experience, umm... under my belt(?), to know what I like doing and what I like having done to me.
How long do you foreplay before getting down to it? It depends on lots of factors. Sometimes the foreplay is all I want, or all that's wanted. Sometimes there's no time for extended foreplay. Sometimes there's only enough energy for the big event. When there is no rush, probably about 25 minutes.
How long does the actual penetrative sex usually last? This varies based on the same reasons listed above. When there is no reason to hurry, I'd guesstimate the average at 20 minutes.
What is your recovery time? Usually I need to sleep between sessions. At the very least, two hours.
What turns you on the quickest? Good kissing will make me instantly hard.
Do you have a nickname for you pleasure organs? Nope. Never have.
Do you prefer your partner to be passive or aggressive? Usually I prefer a partner who follows my instructions-- like the one with which I have been blessed these past few years. Occasionally I like the passive partner to be aggressively passive. If that makes sense. I think the gayspeak for that is power bottom, but for some reason that term turns me off.
Lights on or off? There has to be some form of light. Moonlight. A candle. Sunshine. Car headlights. Something. Men are visual creatures, and I am no different. The only time doing it in complete dark would be acceptable would be if I sneak up on you and molest you in your sleep, but even then I'd like to see what I'm doing.
Your favorite locale for naughtiness: Outdoors
Your most frequent locale for naughtiness: Rei's bed.
Do you like being watched? I love it. They don't need to participate (see my answer about threesomes further down), and it hasn't happened anytime recently, but I enjoy being the exhibitionist.
Where do you shoot the juice when you're with your partner? It depends. Sometimes we both shoot on his stomach & chest, sometimes we both shoot on my stomach & chest. I often get some distance behind it, and put it on his or my face or hair or over the shoulder when I mean to get it on his or my stomach and chest. Sometimes I shoot on his face on purpose. He doesn't let me do that often. Sometimes in his mouth, but again, not often. Sometimes on his back.
Can you get off from just oral? It has happened, but it's pretty rare.
Do you have a foot fetish? Not really, however, I like licking and kissing and playful biting, and that includes but is not limited to lips, ears, neck, arm pits (yeah... I know....), nipples, hips, belly button, cock, hole, inner thigh and feet. Hmm... that seems to cover most of parts of the body. Maybe I should just say everywhere. I do try to mix it up so I'm not completely predictable. LOL.
Like the dirty talk? Yes, I like to hear it. Occasionally I'll be the talker, but not often.
Shower immediately after or bask in the afterglow? It depends. Usually I shower right after, but as long as I can keep fluids from dripping onto the bedsheets, I don't mind relaxing for a bit first.
Have you ever thought you performed poorly? Yes, but not often.
Have you ever thought yo performed exceptionally well? Yes.
On average, how would you describe your performance? Poor, Fair, Acceptable, Outstanding, Exceptional? Well, as I mention on other questions, it seems that not only does quantity of sex decrease as a relationship grows longer, but the amount of 'just average' sex grows. This is not really something to worry about, it's just that with familiarity and time constraints comes 'just average' sex. So let me answer this a different way. Poor - 0%; Fair - 10%; Acceptable - 60%; Outstanding - 20%; Exceptional - 10%. I will also say that even though it might be just Acceptable, it is still quite Enjoyable!
What percent of your full-penetration sexual partners have been relationships? 31%
What percent of your full-penetration sexual partners have been one-night stands? 50%
....And what percent of your full-penetration sexual partners have been repeat offenses? 19%
Do you feel as if you have had less, more, or about the same number of partners as your peers? For a gay man my age who has been sexually active for ten years, I think I probably have had fewer sexual partners than most. (Please let me know if you think I am way off base.....) Of course, I know others who have had much fewer than I, and others who've had many more. Rarely does anyone answer with a real number, so it's hard to determine.
Do you believe you have had more or less experience than your current partner? I am certain that my current partner has had far fewer partners than I.
Do you think you have improved in your performance since you first became sexually active? Yes, of course. I'm confident of what I like, what I'm able to do, the way I like to do them, etc. It makes for a much more pleasant experience.
Do you think you and your partner have learned from each other sexually? Yes, actually, despite his limited experience (if any) when we first met, I think I have learned a lot simply because of the confidence one obtains from having the same partner for a long period. And also because he allows for some, albeit limited, experimentation. I should hope he's learned a great deal from me. LOL. I'll ask him.....
Would you like your sex life to be better? Well, the sex itself is good. It'd be nice if it happened more often, and not always in the same location. Aside from that, it's enjoyable. I look forward to it. Eagerly anticipate it, even.
Do you think your partner is pleased with your sex life? I think so. He hasn't complained, but then again he doesn't really share much unless I ask him. And then it's sometimes difficult to get an answer. But, I'll him that, too.....
Is it tight and do you like it that way? Who doesn't like it tight?!? This question isn't really about me so I'm not going to say much, except that it is pleasing.
How old were you when you first masturbated to orgasm? I believe I was 12.
Do you remember the first time? I remember the event, yes. It was at night, in my bed. I remember rubbing myself through my underwear. At the time, I knew what sex was, but didn't really have an understanding of masturbation. I don't know if I was aware that's what I was doing, I just knew it felt nice. And then I had a weird feeling and thought I was gonna pee. When I realized what had come out, it was like an epiphany: That was an orgasm and it felt great. And if I touch myself like that, I can have them whenever I want. And like every boy who discovers masturbation, I did it at least once a day every day for.... a long time. Not until I was 16 or so did I become fascinated with the volume of the fluid, and discovered that edging for a day or two, and then cumming, made the orgasm bigger and better and wetter. And finally, after becoming sexually active (with someone other than myself), I stopped jerking off by myself and saved up the energies for naked fun time with others.
Did you ever look for and find your parents stash of porn? I didn't look for it, but I discovered it. I didn't watch it.

The Second Survey
Some things may be repetitive....

1. How old are you? 28
2. Are you a virgin? No
3. What is the link to your website, blog, or myspace? karstentb.com
4. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 18
5. How old was your first sexual partner (oral or other)? 15
6. Spit or swallow? Swallow
7. Have you had oral sex? Yes
8. Are you on 'The Pill'? N/A
9. Are you self-conscious about your body? A bit

Last Time You...

10. Had sex? Last Week
11. Faked it? Not possible.
12. Orgasmed? Last Week
13. Gave head? Last Week
14. Had dry sex? I don't know.
15. Tried a new position? I can't think of any new ones..... It's been quite some time.
16. Got naked in front of someone? Last Week
17. Were on top? Last Week

Have You Ever Had A Sexually Encounter...

18. In a bed? Yes
19. In a park? Yes
20. In the back seat of a car? Yes
21. On a slide? No
22. On a bunk bed? No
23. On a trampoline? No
24. On a bench? No
25. In the shower? Yes
26. In a spa? Yes
27. In a pool? Yes
28. In someone's back yard? Yes
29. On a Chair? Yes
30. In a sauna? Yes
31. In a phone booth? No

Have You Ever...

32. Sneaked out for a guy? Yes, when I was 18.
33. Kissed on the first date? Probably, though I can't remember when.
34. Gone further on the first date? Well, I don't know if the ones where I did it on first meeting a person qualify as dates.
35. Had sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol? Not in quite some time, and I prefer not to.
36. Had sex with someone you shouldn't have? Yes.
37. Regretted sex? Yes.
38. Cheated? Yes =(
39. Hooked up with a guy who has a girlfriend? Yes.
40. Had a one night stand? Yes.
41. Done anything with the same sex? All of it has been with the same sex.
42. Been pressured into sex? Hmm. Not really.

Have You Ever Been Called...

43. Frigid? No.
44. A slut? Not in seriousness.
45. A whore? Not that I know of.
46. A tease? Yes.
47. A prude? Nope.
48. A Lesbian? Haha. No.

Which One Would You Prefer...

49. Give or receive hand? I enjoy both.
50. Give or receive head? I enjoy both
51. Sex or oral sex? I enjoy both, but as to which I prefer at any given time, it depends on my mood.
52. Sex or dry sex? Sex.
53. You or him on top? I usually prefer, with occasional exceptions, to be 'the top,' though not always on top.

When Drunk Have You Ever...

54. Had sex? Yes, and I prefer not to be drunk while having sex. Buzzed is ok. I usually prefer not to have sex with a drunken person, though there are exceptions.
55. Given head? Yes.
56. Given hand? Yes.
57. Had dry sex? No.
58. Had a one night stand? Yes.
59. Woken up next to someone you have never met? No.

The Ideal Relationship Guy...

60. His hair color: Black
61. His hair length: Short to Medium.
62. His eye color: Deep, dark, sensuous brown.
63. His height: 5'4" - 5'9" (162 - 175 cm) Basically, my height or shorter. No midgets or dwarves....
64. His weight: HWP. Based on above heights, 110 lbs - 165 lbs. That's a BMI of 19 - 24.
65. His body type: Slim to Average to Toned. Not emaciated or overly muscled.
66. His body hair: Naturally smooth, and trimmed, but not shaved!, in the right places.
67. His race: Asian or Latino.
68. He's cut or uncut: I like uncut, but it's not a deal breaker. Even with my affinity for foreskin, it is nearly the least of my considerations.
69. His pleasure organ size: This is also very low on the things I consider important. Big cocks might be what some people look for, and I suppose they're a nice novelty, like one of those drawings that if you stare at long enough looks 3D, but for practical purposes, I like average to below average dicks. I have a small mouth.....
70. His dress style: I'm not too picky. Jeans & t-shirt, polo & khakis preppy, shirt & tie, modern (not too homo) club wear.... whatever is appropriate for the occasion. No grungy, dirty, saggy stuff.
71. His taste in music: Eclectic.
72. His age: My age-ish. Contrary to the often joked about belief amongst my friends, I don't find minors to be ideal.
73. His income level: No preference.
74. His three most important features, in order of importance: Pleasant personality, average or above average intelligence, physical attractiveness. All three of these are extremely important. I couldn't possibly imagine having a relationship with somebody I couldn't get along with, couldn't converse with because they're dumb or to whom I was not physically attracted.
75. Into threesomes? I prefer that the large majority of sexual activity be one-on-one, but am not opposed to the occasional, and I stress occasional addition of a third, with agreed upon guidelines for naked fun.
76. He cooks or you cook? I prefer him to cook, though I don't mind doing it.
77. His mannerisms, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 Being Most Femme, and 10 Being Most Masculine: Let me explain my interpretation of this scale, first of all. I'm going to say 1 is post-op transsexual, and 10 is stereotypical frat boy who only decorates with sports paraphernalia, brags about his bodily functions, calls everyone 'bro,' and thinks vodka and tequila are the only liquors worth drinking; or some kind of army drill instructor. So my ideal would fall probably around a 6 or 7. No desire to wear a dress. No lisp. No limp wrist. Likes sports, but doesn't live for them. Doesn't call anyone a girl. No burning desire to perform on stage. Getting scared of horror movies and squeezing me for support is acceptable. And taking it up the ass would not be considered stereotypically masculine, I suppose. Doesn't live for they gym. Isn't extremely fascinated by cars or how fast they go. Quirky hobbies that one might consider non-masculine are acceptable. I guess all of that equals a 6 or 7.
78. Smokes: No.
79. Drinks: Not excessively.
80. Drugs: No.
81. Out: Ideally, yes.
82. Holds Your Hand in Public: If the occasion warrants it. A hand squeeze, a quick kiss, a playful tap on the behind... these are acceptable forms of PDA. I shy away from overt displays not because I'm afraid but because it's just poor manners.