A few days ago, I was speaking with an elderly lady who was detailing for me every waking moment of her existence, which was boring me to no end. Mid-yawn, I suddenly began listening a bit closer as she explained how Mexicans have taken over regular American surnames. She explained how our southern neighbors just take English names and words and just stick -ess on the end to make them Spanish.

As an example, she mentioned the surname Martin, and how they just tack the ess on their to make it Martin-ess. Read that as Martin Ess. That's how she pronounced it. She questioned why they liked Martin so much, and not Jones or Smith. "You never hear Jones-ess or Smith-ess," she pointed out.

I could do nothing but agree that, no, I had never heard either of those.